I'm BACKKKK!!!!!

 It has been 4 years since I have blogged. After Mom passed I felt like I lost my way. I felt that I had nothing "positive" to write about because my heart was shattered for so long. Don't get me wrong, it is still broken and I assume it always will be, but I have learned how to cope with it better than I used to. Over the years I have had several people tell me how much they wish I would start back..... and it has been something that I have contemplated week after week for all those years. 

I plan on it being exactly how it was. Just our everyday lives.  It is nice to look back on and see what all we were doing and how much the kids change.  

Although this has been something on my mind for some time now, I did recently have something happen that was the "push" that I needed. Ignore the messy ponytail..... (we were in the middle of moving... which is a totally different type of blog post... when this picture was taken)..... but see the shirt??

The story behind this shirt was my push.  For those of you that don't know, Ed's was my Moms favorite place to go get a burger and shake. She and I would half the pub burger and she would get a blueberry milkshake. 

When we knew for sure that our house was sold we started cleaning out Moms house. Our plan the entire time behind selling our house was to move into her house while we built or did whatever our next step may be.  I listed some things to sell of hers and a SUPER sweet, God sent lady (named Jackie☺️☺️) bought some things (along with other people). A few hours before we had planned to meet for her to pick up what she had bought she messaged me and asked me my t-shirt size. I had no idea that she was at Ed's when she asked, I just thought how sweet of her to want to bring me a t-shirt. The day went on and we eventually met up. She had this shirt rolled up in a rubber band with the logo showing. I immediately teared up and asked her how she knew? She told me about how much she loved my blogs and looked forward to every one that I posted.  She remembered that this was "our spot"...... and she remembered that Moms favorite milkshake from there was blueberry.... and she told me so many other things that I just stood there awestruck that she remembered so many details. 

She was there that morning eating and not thinking about it being my families "spot".  She said the curtains were closed at their table. She decided to peak out and saw a butterfly sitting outside the window. She still didn't think anything of it, but while she was looking at it she heard someone say, "Janet"..... She said she kind of turned her head and heard it again..... and then the employee said "Janet ordered a blueberry milkshake"...... She said she was like holy moly.... what are the odds of being at Ed's, hearing someone say my moms name TWICE and then this "Janet" lady actually had ordered a blueberry milkshake.  She then noticed this t-shirt hanging up and she said she wasn't sure if unconsciously it was because she was meeting me later on or what, but she looked at the T-shirt and said, "Lord I hear you..... I'll get Toyia a shirt". The whole story had me crying. I told her she had no idea how much that meant to me..... God placed her there on purpose at that exact time. I told her what all had been going on with our lives since Covid (another post for another day 😁) and that I really could use Mom to vent to about some things.  Her listening to what God told her to do was exactly what I needed. It meant more to me than I could ever express. 

I told her I hoped to start back soon. And her remembering all of those tiny details from YEARS ago just proved to me that though this blog caused some heart ache for our family (also another post for another day), it also meant a lot to some people. 

I hope to bring joy and entertainment to anyone that reads it. I also hope that it will continue to be a blessing to our family as we look back on it years down the road. To say that I have missed it is an understatement. I have always been one to "write my feelings down".... and it is so much easier to type it out than writing in a journal 😁. 

Welcome back to our NEVER dull, ALWAYS entertaining, and SOMEWHAT chaotic lives.