Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Karter Colquett.... The Morning He has put me through....

So this morning was a great morning.  Everyone cooperated getting ready, I got lunches packed, and we even had enough time to send our sweet, Mollie Mae, a birthday video.  Right after the video, Heidi asked if I would unlock the car. 

"Sure".... as I walk back inside to get my keys.

Wait.... where are my keys?? I laid them right here.  I know I laid them here.  I remember us getting back from me walk/running and the kids playing and we came in, I remember locking the car and hearing the "beep" and then placing them on the counter just as I always did.  But where are they? 

I hurriedly unloaded and reloaded my purse.  No keys.  I looked all over the floors, counters, table.... no keys.  I asked all of the kids where they were, they have no idea. 

Thankfully we have some of the greatest neighbors.  I called Tina to see if they left yet and they hadn't, so I sent Karter and Heidi to ride to school with them.  I had 20 minutes still to find them and get Sophie to preschool.  It was getting close to time and still no keys.  I called Mama and she came to town and we got Soph to preschool. 

I am praying that I would be able to find them.

When I got back from taking her, Mama helped me look.  No where to be found.  I replayed last night over and over and over in my head.  I went through each and every step.  Nothing.  I even went through the garbage.... TWICE.....  no keys.  I called and talked to Karter at school, he denied knowing where they were.  So I called and talked to Heidi.  She didn't know where they were and they weren't in her backpack.  The next step was to call the dealership in Daphne where I got it to see what the step would be to getting another one made.  (I need to add that I traded my Tahoe and got an Enclave just a few weeks ago.  And go figure... there was only 1 set of keys).  He said I would need my VIN (which he so kindly gave me), my license, and a local dealer should be able to help get one. 

Okay.... we are on the right track finally.  BUT WHERE ARE MY KEYS????  After each phone call I am still frantically looking and thinking about where could they possibly be. 

.... and looking something like this.....
So I called our local dealership.  Come to find out the Enclave's have an anti-theft thing with their key bobs and we could have a key cut for it based off the VIN and after a 10 minute "training the car with the key" we could probably get in the car, but then was no guaranteed that it would crank because the car wouldn't recognize the key without the bob.  They could order the whole set and generally that takes a couple days to get them in.  The only problem is.... THEY HAVE TO HAVE MY CAR TO PROGRAM IT!!!  Which means, I would have to have my car towed to the dealership.

REALLY????? WHERE ARE MY STINKING KEYS????  Is this really happening?
I replay last night AGAIN just to be sure that I have looked EVERYWHERE that I can think of.  The entire time, Mama is going.... "Toyia.... did the kids get them?  Are you sure that Karter didn't hide them?" because he has hid things.... OFTEN.  But at this point, I wasn't sure of anything.  I wasn't going to blame the kids because I do forget where I put stuff from time to time.  I tried to blame Kyle because he is at work and I don't have an extra vehicle (bless him), but that really wasn't a fair thing to do.

Still praying.

So now I call Progressive to make sure my road side assistance covers towing.  Hallelujah it does!  They were transferring me to the department to set me up to have it towed, but I told him to wait.  I needed to talk to my husband to see what I needed to do.  I had sent Kyle an "S.O.S" message and I knew that when he saw it, he would completely panic and think that something bad had happened.  I got so side tracked that I forgot to send him another message telling him that we were all okay. Go figure.

In the mean time Mama takes me to get my Grandmama's car so that we have a way to get from A to B.  We are now 2 hours into this mess.

Lord please help me find my keys.

I called the dealership in Daphne again to see if we could contact the previous owners and have the spare keys sent to us.  Turns out the dealership went and bought the Enclave.... it wasn't a trade in, so they had no way to do that.  They were very apologetic and had even been looking and thinking about how to help me.

Mama went on home since I had Grandmama's car.  I decided to take a shower and try to "chill" and then start over looking.  I really wanted to talk to Kyle before I did anything.  When I got out of the shower, my phone was ringing.  I ran to get it and it was Amanda.  She said, "Did you find them?" I sadly responded, "no"..... she said, "WELL WHO IS THE BEST FRIEND AND BEST TEACHER EVER (She is Karter's teacher in case some of you didn't know)?" I said PLEASE just tell me if you know where they are.

She said, "Well, I could tell when you were talking to Karter earlier that he had a smirk on his face like he might know where they are.  So I just asked him again if he knew.  I explained to him that he wouldn't be in trouble, but that Mommy really needed her keys (I had texted her and told her about the towing and all that jazz before this) and that someone was going to have to come get her car and take it away and that he wouldn't be able to go to soccer, or school, or anywhere."  SOOOO he said that, "He may remember seeing Sophie (putting the blame on her) put them in HIS closet under his clothes".  I have his fall stuff folded up in the bottom of his closet.  I am still on the phone with her and steadily looking through those clothes for them.  I then told her that it was okay.  If they were there then he could just get them when he gets home because I have Grandmama's car now and I have a way to go.  He quickly changed his story to they were in our DVD cabinet in the living room.  SO I (still on the phone with them.... THANK YOU LORD FOR A WONDERFUL SCHOOL SYSTEM) go to the living room and begin looking.  He kept saying that they were "Across" the cabinet... so I am thinking like all in the cabinet maybe in the back?  Well I went "across" the room to the other set of cabinets by the fireplace, open the cabinet.....

AND THERE ARE MY KEYS..... It was like seeing the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow.
 I had never seen them shine the way they were shining......

I seriously started crying on the phone with Amanda.  I was laughing, I was crying.  I was praising Jesus

KARTER COLQUETT IS HIS DADDY MADE OVER!!!  Kyle is such a prankster.  I mean.... I went through the garbage... twice!!!  We had tacos for supper for crying out loud and I hadn't taken the trash out yet.  I was digging through meat, cheese, sauce, etc.  I had been on the phone with dealerships, I WAS ABOUT TO HAVE IT TOWED!!!! 

I promised him that he would not be in trouble if he told me where they were, so I have to keep my word.  BUT we will have a nice talk about this. 

I get that he still doesn't want to go to school, fussing about clothes, fussing about lunchboxes, even hiding his clothes..... but hiding my car keys... that's a new one. 

.... and poor Kyle.... He said he saw my message and jumped out of bed to go call.  I really felt bad then. 


Monday, September 29, 2014

Marriage & Sex (dotMom)

This was another life changing session from Debbie and Steve Wilson.  I think everyone in our group ended up doing this session. Not that any of our marriages are bad, but who doesn't want a little pick me up every now and then?  So sit back and enjoy the read.  Hopefully you'll get as much out of it as I did.

~ When you first get married you are all about each other....... and...... well then you have kids. 
     * The hardest time in a Moms life is when you have small kids..... IT. IS. EXHAUSTING!
     * With us being so exhausted, we are constantly pushing our husbands away.  Eventually he stops   trying to get close to us and so the war begins. 

~ There are 3 very important things to remember in a marriage:
(1) Communication is the key!!!!
     *  If communication is not right in our marriage, it causes all sorts of problems.  This area is SO VERY IMPORTANT!!
     * A woman only desires sex if she feels loved.
          (1) We need to know that you care about us ALL day and not just at bed time.  Check in with each other.  A sweet little text or phone call throughout the day adds up.
               - And ladies, if we are going to hand over a responsibility to our husbands, then we have to let him do it.  And not just do it, but do it HIS way.  Steve used an example that he decided to help take a load off Debbie so he told her that he would do bath time for her.  He purposely made it last an hour to give Debbie more "her time".  He said the floor was completely soaked, but they had a good time. 
          (2) We have more than a body.  We have a brain.  We need non-sexual affection.  We will want you when you emotionally love us and not just physically love us.
               - Sex is physical for a man, but emotional for a woman. 

Ladies, your husband wants YOU!!!!   Of all the women in the World, HE CHOSE YOU!!

(2) Look past the behavior to the pain that caused the behavior.
     * We address the behavior, not what caused the behavior.
     * When your husband comes home from a job he hates and you ask him how his day was and he says, "Not good".... and then you immediately say, "Well..... you think your day wasn't good..... let me tell you about my day".  Your husband hears, "I don't care about your day".  Why not say, "Honey let's pray about a new job"?
               - Debbie gave an example (that doesn't pertain to marriage but is a great example that goes along with this) at how her daughter came home after school and slammed the door as she entered.  Debbie said that is one thing that everyone at her house knows is a NO NO!!  So then her daughter went to her room and slammed her bedroom door.  Debbie was so mad.  She furiously went to her room and found her daughter sitting on her bed crying.  Instead of getting on to her she embraced her.  Her daughter told her that no one cared about her.  Her point was that she would have missed that opportunity with her daughter if she had of went in her room and yelled at her instead of listening to what she said. 

(3) Forgiveness (1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness)
     * Satan uses your past (memories) to get in the way of your marriage.
     * Real love is when you can stand before your spouse with the good, bad, the ugly, and they still love you.

~ God designed marriage to be good, but he also designed it for the man and woman to work at it together.  He never said it would be easy.
~ Talk about sex.  Guys cannot read minds. 
~ You've got to COMMUNICATE!!!!!
~ Let him hold your heart.  He wants you to feel safe and you will with him holding it.

~ Let God use trials to bring you closer to Him!

Enjoy your husband, your marriage, your closeness.  Draw closer together everyday. 

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Memories, Moments, & Making it Better (dotMom)

The 2nd breakout session I went to (I'll get back to the 1st one) was by Steve & Debbie Wilson, "Memories, Moments, & Making it Better".  I will gladly admit that I cried during this one.  Really I should be more honest.  I SOBBED during this session.  Like a baby!  Like my throat was pure hurting from trying to hold back and not break out into this embarrassingly awful cry.  Y'all know how sentimental I am.  Every memory and moment that has happened in my life is so very important to me and every memory and moment in my children's lives are just as important.

I learned so much from this class.  And a lot of it was just kind of reassurance to me that I am doing some things right when it comes to mothering, but that there are always things that I need to work on.

* First and foremost, we are not placed on this earth for ourselves.  We are placed here to live for and honor God and bring other people to Him.  If our focus is on on Him then we will naturally love well.  So many of us leave it up to the church to tell our children about Jesus.  I am just as guilty of this as anyone else.  

* Steve & Debbie said we need to have more fun with our kidsSome parents are so structured that there is absolutely no fun in every day life.  They gave us an example of how they were at Target or Walmart or somewhere and Steve noticed some water guns that were 1/2 off.  He said he didn't know at the time why they needed them, but he told Debbie he just thought they did.  When they got home, he filled the guns up with water and put them in their outside storage room.  (She adds that it took lots of convincing on his part to talk her into this).  After dinner, he told the kids to all stay in their seats that he and their mom would be right back.  They went out and got the guns and came in and they said the look on their kids faces were priceless.  They soaked them!  They both said it was so much fun and their now grown kids still talk about that.  The wall paper dries.  The floor dries.  And it was a memory to last a lifetime.
               ~  It made me think of childhood memories I have with my family.  I can remember my Dad making us lay still on the floor and he would put his foot on our stomachs and shake it.  We would laugh so hard.  Or how I used to could stand on my Dads hands while he was laying down and he would lift me in the air.  One of my favorite memories with him would have to be laying on the trampoline at night and "counting the stars".  Or turning all the lights out and laying on the living room floor and watching Nickelodeons, "Are You Afraid of the Dark?". AND driving his truck on back roads and dirt roads was oh-so-fun!  I can also remember my Dad thinking I was asleep and he would come to my room and pray for me. 
               ~  At Mama's I remember us riding horses all the time and I used to ride my horse, Big John, and tell them that I was going to stand up and ride him one day.  Of course that never happened, but it was so real to me at the time.  I remember she used to would check me out of school (okay maybe it was only once or twice, but it was FUN) and we would go shopping.  Or when she would braid my hair and she would do it so tight that I would tell her I was going Chinese.  We still laugh about that today.  Especially when she is braiding my girls hair.  She and my step dad owned a mobile home business and every afternoon after school we would go out there and ride the golf cart.  We loved "pretending" to be older and play like we were driving our car.  Or in the afternoons I was OFTEN the last one to be picked up from school.  We still kid her about that (bc Tyler has the same stories).  There were so many days I would have to walk back in the office and call her to make sure she hadn't forgot me.  She'd say, "I just got caught up with a customer".  Now that she works at the middle school, she'll joke around and say ,"can you believe their Moms forgot to get them".... BAAAHAAA.... REALLY MOM? 
               ~ I love childhood memories.  I want my kids to have them too.  So after their water gun story, I got to thinking about things we did that were fun.  We have Nerf gun fights often.  Karter and Sophie will usually gang up and wake us up in the mornings shooting us.  And then 2 of them will get behind the island and me and another one will get behind the couch and have a "war".  Or maybe they'll remember loving to help me cook.  Heidi doesn't really care for it, but Soph and Kman love to help me.  Or perhaps us playing hiding go seek.  We love to play that outside in the evenings.  Or maybe freeze tag.  That's a lot of fun.  Memories are just so special.  We do a lot of high-fives!  I want them to know how very proud of them I am.  Another thing "of ours" is when they have hiccups, they'll say, "Uh oh Mommy.... I have hiccups"... and I'll say, "nooooooo  you can't have hiccups".  They think hiccups make them grow.... and I always tell them they can't grow anymore that I need them to stay little longer.  

* After we discipline our kids, we have to make sure they know how much we love them and make sure they understand the reason they got in trouble.

* Daddy's have a huge impact on children.  What their Daddy says makes a large impact on their life.  They need to know their Daddy loves them.  Mama's do too, but Daddy's are usually the more stern ones and knowing that they are loved by their Dad is a big deal.

* Another huge impact on children is the way they see that their Daddy loves their Mama.  It gives them a sense of security and makes them feel that all is well in their world. 

~~~ Steve said that he purposely set their living room furniture up one time in a way that he could have "Hit & Runs".  Where he would walk behind one of the kids and tap their heads and then he would run.  They never could catch him.  Another fun memory his kids talk about.
~~~ I loved this one.  Mostly because I was 5 minutes late for curfew one time and I got grounded for what seemed like an eternity.  Funny thing is, I CALLED my Mom to tell her I was going to be late.  I see it now because I am a parent, but at the time it made no sense to me.  Anyway, His son was 15 minutes late for curfew one night.  The next morning he told them that he came home on time.  Instead of arguing and yelling and fussing about it, Steve didn't say anything to him about it.  He said the next time he went out, he just got in his sons bed and went to sleep.  When his son came in 15 minutes late and saw his Dad in his bed, it scared him half to death.  He was never late again because he never knew when his Dad would be in his bed.  His point was, you have to have fun with all aspects of parenting. 

* This is a hard one for me.... even now with my kids being 8,5,4: 
We have to let our kids fail.  And stop rescuing them.  
                 ~ Their daughter was invited to a field party.  She told Steve & Debbie that she wasn't sure if she wanted to go or not.  Their family motto is, "IF EVER IN DOUBT, DON'T".  Anyway, the time came around and she decided to go to this field party (after days of rain).  She was getting close to curfew and called her Dad to tell him that her car was stuck.  He said, "Sounds like you have a problem.  Curfew is in 30 minutes" and hung up.  A few minutes later she called back and told him the same thing, he said, "Sounds like you have a problem.  Curfew is in 25 minutes".... and so forth.  He said at curfew time she walked in the door.  She had gotten someone to bring her home.  Her car was still stuck in the field.  The next morning they got up and ready for Sunday School and before they went she reminded him again of her car and he said, "Sounds like you have a problem".  Anyway, by the time they went to eat after church and got home her car was in the drive way.  She had given the keys to some guys in her SS class and they got it out for her and brought it home.  His point was that she grounded herself by not having her car.  He didn't rescue her.  She figured out how to solve the problem.

 * Families in today's world have quit hugging and loving in our homes.  We are mostly criticizing in today's world.  We need to look in our children's eyes with joy and not disgust.  Let them know how proud we are of them on a regular basis. 

3 things they left us with to tell our kids everyday:
(1) I love you!
(2) I am proud of you!
(3) You are good! 

~~~ I wanted to do nothing more after leaving that session than to come home and hug Kyle and the kids and start playing hiding go seek and tell them all how very proud of them I am. 

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

My Weekend at Dot Mom

 So before I start telling you all about my fabulous weekend, you may be asking, "What exactly is dotMom?".  You can learn more about it here.  It really is a wonderful weekend with a house full of Christian ladies that are seeking God.  We had worship led by Carl and Heather Cartee and 4 different main session speakers. There were also 4 different breakout sessions and you could go to any of them that you wanted.  There were a variety of different classes to go to.  Classes about marriage, single mom, kids, discipline, infertility problems, anxiety, hurt, NUMEROUS to choose from. 

Not to mention getting to bond and spend time with friends and wonderful ladies from my home church.

We took a group selfie after dinner Friday night :)!

At breakfast Saturday morning

Saturday night we all piled up in the hotel room and watched, "Moms Night Out".  Or they did rather.  I fell asleep :)!

The hilarious hosts were Sophie and Melanie.  If you've never checked out their blogs, you should :)!!
 While I was gone, I was kept in tune by many.... MANY..... snap chats :)!!!  I loved it!! Every one of them made me smile, so of course I had to screen shot them just for you! And well...... for my keep sake :)!
This was after school Friday.

 ... washing Grandmama's car......

 They had a fun time at the lake Saturday :).....

 .... and then ones like these made me really, REALLY miss "my people"......


HAHA! This one was Sunday morning :)!!
 I HAVE to give my husband a complete standing applause.  He did a WONDERFUL job all weekend being a single dad.  I didn't think about them possibly needing a blow dryer.  Usually they take baths at night.  Well................  Sunday morning after Sophie's bath, they didn't have a blow dryer.  I told him to just pull her hair back like usual and explain to her teachers that I had the blow dryer with me.  BUT he improvised (& didn't burn her hair *insert hands raised emoji here* hehe) and used the curling iron to dry it.  I mean, look how beautiful they are.....

And then the trio....... I missed them like crazy!
 We made it back in time for church Sunday night.  I was so very excited to see them.  I was really dreading going.  Mostly because I don't do well traveling and it is hard for me to leave my family behind.  BUT when I was there, (I missed them don't get me wrong) God helped to fill that void with laughter and crying from the sessions and the ladies I went with.  It was an awesome conference! 

I did find this sweet drawing during church :) that Heidi had drawn......
I plan to share with you all over the next little bit of some things I learned from the sessions.  Stuff that will hopefully Bless your Blesser the way it did mine!

Monday, September 22, 2014

Kyle's 31st Birthday & Soccer Game #1

 You all may not have noticed that I was not able to blog.... like.... any.... last week, but my sweet Mother-in-law did :)!!  

Last week was insanely busy.  One morning I had a 3 hour 45 minute meeting at the Superintendents Office with some other parents because we are helping them this week with the AdvancedEd accreditation certification.  The other days I was Kyle's tag-a-long to do whatever.... and then Friday morning I left for a weekend Moms conference in Nashville with some ladies from church.  

Kyle's birthday was the 14th.  We pretty much celebrated all weekend.  He and my aunt actually share the same birthday and she was turning 50, so we had a surprise party for her that Friday night.  When we got home, somehow the sleepy bug completely left Karter.  He was wide awake.  

 He read the Newspaper for a while.......
 ..... and played with me for a while...... until finally crashing :)!
 Saturday we went to Kyle's Moms house to celebrate!  The kiddos swam, we grilled, just had a great time hanging out. 
His cookie cake from his Mom
 I made him a 6 layer chocolate cake.  My plan was a 9 layer cake, but I ran out of batter for the 9th layer and then 2 of them broke :(!  I was determined to do it "on my own", but was constantly calling my Mom to ask her how to do this or what it meant by this or that..... until finally I said, "You just gotta come over and help me" :)!  I had no idea how in depth this cake was. 
 Sunday after church we ate lunch at My Moms.  She cooked one of Kyle's favorite, cubed steak with gravy. 
 She also made him a Key Lime Cake.....
Soph really wanted us to light a candle for him to blow out and all Mom had was a 5 :)!! #donthate
 That night after church we went to Mexican to celebrate with My Dad, Yana, and Tyler :)!!

Karter laughing in this picture just makes me smile!

Of course this kid is crazy!
I think it is safe to say that he had a wonderful birthday weekend :)!!  We were glad he was home for us to celebrate it with him!

The next day was dance day and soccer.  We were running like chickens with our heads cut off!  We somehow made it by the hair of our chinny chin chin for the first game.

 They played for about 20 minutes or so before it started raining..... HARD...... and the game was called.....

How cute are they?
I still have more of the school audit today, but I can hardly wait to share with you all some of the things from my conference this past weekend.  God really did some things in my heart and I am so glad that I went. 

Friday, September 12, 2014

Oh! My Funny Sophie Girl!

 Ohhhhhh my Sophie Girl!

She is one of a kind there is no doubt about that.  

Watching her "play" soccer is such a treat.  She cannot concentrate on the game to save her life.  Which doesn't surprise me at all.  I can't tell you the number of times she just walks off the field to get some water or to tell me something that she suddenly remembered.  

During last nights practice I couldn't help but take pictures.  

She was doing toe touches.....

 ..... dance moves......
 ..... cheer stunts.......
 .... and then while the team was having a group meeting, she was in Sophie Land doing splits and such....
 .... oh and then they made her goalie.  Not the best move they have made.  She had the best time playing in the net and noticing how pretty the soccer ball was that flew past her......
I had to get a video of her to show how she was doing.  AND to top it off.... that is her Daddy standing beside her.                    
She gets to carry objects to school now just like Karter used to.  She loves deciding what to take each day.... this week was the letter "O"...

 She wanted to take an owl two days in a row.... so why not :)?

This was definitely her Daddy's doings....

And today was oatmeal :)!!
                               HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYONE!!