Thursday, February 27, 2014

Gods Guidelines for Growing Your Kids

Danny Akin Study

Eph 6

* Why are families falling apart? 
-40% of all the children in America live without their biological dad.
- Sometimes their dad is physically there, but not mentally.

*Most all parents LOVE their children, but do the children feel the love?  

I know for me I try really hard to make sure all three of my kids feel the same equal amount of love from me.  I tell them so many times a day that I love them it is ridiculous & give them hugs and kisses until they get tired of it.  I dreamed of having them my entire life, so why wouldn't I make sure they knew they were all a dream come true?

A couple ways to make sure our kids feel loved:
(1) We love our kids by educating them about obedience.
Eph 6:1-2  Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do.  Honor your father and mother. This is the first commandment with a promise.
  - Don't just tell them what to do.  Show them.  Be the example that they follow.  Whether we realize it or not, our children are constantly watching and copying what we do.

(2) We love our kids by encouraging them.
Eph 6:4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them.  Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.
- Fathers, don't provide unsettling situations.  You don't want your children to be afraid of you and worry if you are going to yell or not about any circumstance.  That pushes the child away.
- Your kids care about what you think.
- A survey shows kids say their #1 role model is their parents.
- Whether they act like it or not, they actually listen to what we say.

Some things we can do to let them know we love them and care:

* Get on their level.
-- He gave an example about having a turtle funeral for his son.  Most of you know that we have buried every animal that we have had that has passed on.  We have little funerals (except for 1 fish out of 6 got the trash, but the others were all buried) for them all and usually the kids create a type of cross.  We have a little pet cemetery in the back yard.

*By loving your mate.
-- They need security in knowing mom & dad love each other.

*By giving them discipline.
-- Give them a big playing field & not a little box.  When they disobey, you make their "box" smaller... and smaller and smaller.  But if you start out small, chances are they will wonder outside the "box" to the unknown so to speak and then you lose the connection with them because they feel the need to hide the situation.
-- Be consistent.
~ Our Sassy Sophie requires a different discipline than Karter or Heidi.  Heidi and Karter are both able to generally be disciplined by just telling them whatever was wrong.  Sassiness on the other hand is a totally different story.  So the "spray" works best for her.  The spray= 1/4 vinegar 3/4 water mixed in a spray bottle.  
-- "I love you too much to let you make a fool of yourself" 

Proverbs 29:15 To discipline a child produces wisdom, but a mother is disgraced by an undisciplined child.

*By looking at them.
-- Your eyes can say a lot.  Let them know you are interested in what they are saying or doing.  When you aren't paying attention, they don't think you care.

* By coaching them.
-- You are their biggest fan.  Boys for instance need rough housing from Dad and tenderness from Mom.  

*By spending time with them.
-- In today's World, sadly most time together is spent in front of the T.V. 
Now our kiddos love their kindles, Disney, and the ipad.  BUT if it is pretty outside and not too cool, we are outside folks.  They know how to play outside, use their imagination, make mud pies, get skint legs from trying to ride something, get dirty..... they are 95% complete.... YARD YOUNGINS!  That's why winter is not for us.  If we have to be inside, I'll let them watch the ipad or kindles for so long.... and then they have to stop and play.  Karter loves to play with puzzles and his trains and crane.  The girls love to play Barbies and babies.  

~~~~LOVE=TIME

* By listening to them.
-- Put the phones, ipads, and any other distraction away.  Show them what they are saying is important.  Nothing on your phone can replace the minutes wasted by them in your child's life.

* By blessing them rather than cussing them.
-- YES with your words.
-- Calling them stupid, idiot, to shut up, etc.... is just flat out WRONG!  Be gentle with your use of words.  Those words DON'T BLESS ANYONE!  Power of words is HUGE!!!  Your children will NOT forget!  That also has a lot to do with their attitude and behavior to other people.  

* Introduce them to the perfect parent.
-- Perfect Heavenly Father

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