Being an Oilfield Wife.... Is Living 2 Lives!

So a couple weeks ago I was talking to a sweet lady (whose husband also works offshore) about Kyle being gone.  She was asking how it was going, etc.  When I told her that each time he comes home, we both have to "re-learn" stuff, she smiled and said, "I am so glad you said that".  What I meant by that was......

Kyle is gone 3 weeks at a time.  When he first started, he was gone 4-6 1/2 weeks at a time because he was over seas.  Well when you are the person "in charge" of the children, home, bills, groceries, EVERYTHING for that long of a time, it takes an adjustment when the man of the house comes home.  None of these things I mean negative, and I will explain more at the end.

But for instance:
- When he is home, he practically lives off his dresser.  So clothes stay piled up on it.
- Laundry is doubled.  Boots and shoes are all over.
- The groceries do not last long at all.  I can buy groceries when he leaves that lasts the kids and I the entire hitch.  When he is home, I can buy the same groceries and they are gone in a week.
- He obviously is taller than I am, so he adjusts the shower head to hit him; therefore, when I get in, it is hitting me straight in the face.  We have both agreed that one day we will have a shower that has the water coming out from above and sides to solve this problem haha.
- When he is gone, I get in a "by myself" groove.  I know what we have to do each day of the week.  I know who goes here when.  When he is home, it takes me a few days to remember that I have to communicate and include him in those goings. 
- I get used to sleeping with just me and Heidi or me and all three kiddos.  (The kids know that when he is home, they have to sleep in their bed).  When he comes home, it really is like your first week of marriage when you are adjusting to another adult in the bed.  Much different than a kid.  I can sleep an entire night and you could barely tell anyone was in the bed the next morning.  Kyle on the other hand snatches the covers with every roll, so the covers are CRAZY in the morning.
- I get in a routine even with feeding the animals.  Every morning Sophie and I make our rounds and check on them and feed them.  When he is home, I seem to get out of "my routine".
- I sweep, he tracks in.
- There are certain things that I discipline the children on that he doesn't realize.  So we have to communicate on what the kids can and cannot do.
- When he is gone, our Netflix queue list stays on chick flicks and children movies.  When he is home, it is all about thrillers and comedies.
- When he is home, he is an extra set of hands... so I "expect" him to just pick right up, but he has been without us for that length of time, so he also has to re-train himself on the Daddy/husband duties.
 - When he is gone, I  make all the decisions.  Like are we going bowling or not? Going to eat or not? Heidi riding in the parade or not? Spaghetti tonight or lasagna (he doesn't like either LOL)?


***But when he is home, life is so much funner. 
- Generally only takes a couple days to adjust.
- I tend to put "house chores" aside to spend time with him.  I clean basically everyday when he is gone, but when he is home, it'll be 3 days and I'll be like.... I have to vacuum hehe.  
- The grocery thing is mostly my fault.  When he is gone, I rarely cook a "meal" per say.  It wastes.  When he is home, We cook almost nightly. 
- We can just come and go as we please.... together. 
- We are no where close to being "rich in wealth", but we are very rich in our family unity.  Being a stay at home Mommy to an oilfield husband gives us opportunities that both of our past jobs could not do.  It has allowed me to stay home.  We had to cut way down on spending, but that has been a good life lesson.  When he is home, we are all together.  We get to take Heidi and Karter to school as a family.  We get to pick them up.  He gets to take the girls to dance.  He can go to doctors appointments, funerals, school activities, etc.  With his "normal" job, he couldn't take off work for those things, so he missed a lot. 
- We see each other soooo much more now than we ever did before. 
- We grill more now.
- The kids get to enjoy him everyday of the week rather than just on Saturdays and Sundays.
- Heidi still cries for him at least 3 times each hitch.  Her heart is so big and she misses him so much when he is gone.  But that makes us appreciate every moment that we all have together when he is home.

---- Living an oilfield life has taught us to appreciate our time together.  He has to sacrifice so much to do what he does.  He misses birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, deaths, funerals, games, recitals, wrecks, etc. 
- I have had no choice but to learn to be more independent as a parent.  I have to change air filters, kill bugs, change light bulbs, get my car serviced, mow grass, wash my own car, buy 50 lbs of dog food and chicken food and get it home and put it up by myself.  Although he is gone and we miss him like crazy, I can't deprive the kids and stay home and not go and do anything.  So I have learned to still take them here and there.  And we just send Kyle lots of pictures :). 

So really.... it is like living 2 entirely separate lives and we live them 1 hitch at a time :).