Not Supposed to Ask Why......

I visit my sweet friend, Danielle, every Monday.  Or I try to at least.  I wasn't able to visit her the past 2 weeks and it just about got the best of me. 

I'm not real sure why it hit me like it did yesterday, but the kiddos and I sat there for a while yesterday and I just had me a why why why moment.  I couldn't help the tears that were forming in my eyes.  I try real hard to not "do stuff like that" in front of the kids.  But her tombstone is so beautiful.  Every little detail in it is amazing.  I couldn't help but stare at her DOB and DOD and just picture her empty body laying in the grave. 

My mind was going 100 miles an hour as I thought back to us being 16-18 and cruising around town.  We were in-separable.  I think about Shaun and him now raising those precious girls.  Dads are awesome!!! And now he is the Dad and the Mom.  There are just some things that moms do that dads don't know how or can't.  So I couldn't get him off my mind.  Plus he had to design this beautiful tombstone.  And she loved Auburn.  SO I always look forward to seeing that AU flag blowing in the wind when I visit.

I also sat there with Heidi and Karter in the car with me and hearing them talk and just thinking about what all Danielle left behind.  Not that she would come back, because I can hardly wait to get to Heaven.  Just the thought of leaving my children behind I guess.  I was thinking about those girls and growing up and saying, " I lost my mom when I was 5".  Hard for me to imagine someone else raising my kiddos.  No one does it as good as me.  Know what I mean? That's what all us moms think. 

I was thinking about her mom.  She lost a daughter.  Hearing Heidi talking just made me smile.  I had one more moment with them, because we never really know.  I think about Ms. Gerri a lot.  I just haven't gotten my courage up to go to Steamboat, her delicious restaurant, and eat and see her.  Everytime I would go in, Danielle would greet me with a huge smile and hug and I am not ready for that to change. 

Thought about her sisters, cousins, sister in laws, mother in laws, everyone.  Halloween just passed and now Thanksgiving and Christmas are approaching.  Gonna be an adjustment for her family. 

 30 used to "seem so old".  Until now.  30 is quite young.  God has much greater plans than we do, just sometimes they are very hard to understand.  The memories I have with Yell are ones I will cherish forever. 

I plan to continue to visit her weekly :)!! And Tamara, I will make sure her tombstone is always clean.