I learned so much from this class. And a lot of it was just kind of reassurance to me that I am doing some things right when it comes to mothering, but that there are always things that I need to work on.
* First and foremost, we are not placed on this earth for ourselves. We are placed here to live for and honor God and bring other people to Him. If our focus is on on Him then we will naturally love well. So many of us leave it up to the church to tell our children about Jesus. I am just as guilty of this as anyone else.
* Steve & Debbie said we need to have more fun with our kids. Some parents are so structured that there is absolutely no fun in every day life. They gave us an example of how they were at Target or Walmart or somewhere and Steve noticed some water guns that were 1/2 off. He said he didn't know at the time why they needed them, but he told Debbie he just thought they did. When they got home, he filled the guns up with water and put them in their outside storage room. (She adds that it took lots of convincing on his part to talk her into this). After dinner, he told the kids to all stay in their seats that he and their mom would be right back. They went out and got the guns and came in and they said the look on their kids faces were priceless. They soaked them! They both said it was so much fun and their now grown kids still talk about that. The wall paper dries. The floor dries. And it was a memory to last a lifetime.
~ It made me think of childhood memories I have with my family. I can remember my Dad making us lay still on the floor and he would put his foot on our stomachs and shake it. We would laugh so hard. Or how I used to could stand on my Dads hands while he was laying down and he would lift me in the air. One of my favorite memories with him would have to be laying on the trampoline at night and "counting the stars". Or turning all the lights out and laying on the living room floor and watching Nickelodeons, "Are You Afraid of the Dark?". AND driving his truck on back roads and dirt roads was oh-so-fun! I can also remember my Dad thinking I was asleep and he would come to my room and pray for me.
~ At Mama's I remember us riding horses all the time and I used to ride my horse, Big John, and tell them that I was going to stand up and ride him one day. Of course that never happened, but it was so real to me at the time. I remember she used to would check me out of school (okay maybe it was only once or twice, but it was FUN) and we would go shopping. Or when she would braid my hair and she would do it so tight that I would tell her I was going Chinese. We still laugh about that today. Especially when she is braiding my girls hair. She and my step dad owned a mobile home business and every afternoon after school we would go out there and ride the golf cart. We loved "pretending" to be older and play like we were driving our car. Or in the afternoons I was OFTEN the last one to be picked up from school. We still kid her about that (bc Tyler has the same stories). There were so many days I would have to walk back in the office and call her to make sure she hadn't forgot me. She'd say, "I just got caught up with a customer". Now that she works at the middle school, she'll joke around and say ,"can you believe their Moms forgot to get them".... BAAAHAAA.... REALLY MOM?
~ I love childhood memories. I want my kids to have them too. So after their water gun story, I got to thinking about things we did that were fun. We have Nerf gun fights often. Karter and Sophie will usually gang up and wake us up in the mornings shooting us. And then 2 of them will get behind the island and me and another one will get behind the couch and have a "war". Or maybe they'll remember loving to help me cook. Heidi doesn't really care for it, but Soph and Kman love to help me. Or perhaps us playing hiding go seek. We love to play that outside in the evenings. Or maybe freeze tag. That's a lot of fun. Memories are just so special. We do a lot of high-fives! I want them to know how very proud of them I am. Another thing "of ours" is when they have hiccups, they'll say, "Uh oh Mommy.... I have hiccups"... and I'll say, "nooooooo you can't have hiccups". They think hiccups make them grow.... and I always tell them they can't grow anymore that I need them to stay little longer.
* After we discipline our kids, we have to make sure they know how much we love them and make sure they understand the reason they got in trouble.
* Daddy's have a huge impact on children. What their Daddy says makes a large impact on their life. They need to know their Daddy loves them. Mama's do too, but Daddy's are usually the more stern ones and knowing that they are loved by their Dad is a big deal.
* Another huge impact on children is the way they see that their Daddy loves their Mama. It gives them a sense of security and makes them feel that all is well in their world.
~~~ Steve said that he purposely set their living room furniture up one time in a way that he could have "Hit & Runs". Where he would walk behind one of the kids and tap their heads and then he would run. They never could catch him. Another fun memory his kids talk about.
~~~ I loved this one. Mostly because I was 5 minutes late for curfew one time and I got grounded for what seemed like an eternity. Funny thing is, I CALLED my Mom to tell her I was going to be late. I see it now because I am a parent, but at the time it made no sense to me. Anyway, His son was 15 minutes late for curfew one night. The next morning he told them that he came home on time. Instead of arguing and yelling and fussing about it, Steve didn't say anything to him about it. He said the next time he went out, he just got in his sons bed and went to sleep. When his son came in 15 minutes late and saw his Dad in his bed, it scared him half to death. He was never late again because he never knew when his Dad would be in his bed. His point was, you have to have fun with all aspects of parenting.
* This is a hard one for me.... even now with my kids being 8,5,4:
We have to let our kids fail. And stop rescuing them.
~ Their daughter was invited to a field party. She told Steve & Debbie that she wasn't sure if she wanted to go or not. Their family motto is, "IF EVER IN DOUBT, DON'T". Anyway, the time came around and she decided to go to this field party (after days of rain). She was getting close to curfew and called her Dad to tell him that her car was stuck. He said, "Sounds like you have a problem. Curfew is in 30 minutes" and hung up. A few minutes later she called back and told him the same thing, he said, "Sounds like you have a problem. Curfew is in 25 minutes".... and so forth. He said at curfew time she walked in the door. She had gotten someone to bring her home. Her car was still stuck in the field. The next morning they got up and ready for Sunday School and before they went she reminded him again of her car and he said, "Sounds like you have a problem". Anyway, by the time they went to eat after church and got home her car was in the drive way. She had given the keys to some guys in her SS class and they got it out for her and brought it home. His point was that she grounded herself by not having her car. He didn't rescue her. She figured out how to solve the problem.* Families in today's world have quit hugging and loving in our homes. We are mostly criticizing in today's world. We need to look in our children's eyes with joy and not disgust. Let them know how proud we are of them on a regular basis.
3 things they left us with to tell our kids everyday:
(1) I love you!
(2) I am proud of you!
(3) You are good!
~~~ I wanted to do nothing more after leaving that session than to come home and hug Kyle and the kids and start playing hiding go seek and tell them all how very proud of them I am.
sweet post! It's always GREAT to get a refresher! Sounds like you were right where you needed to be for the weekend! :)
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