Marriage & Sex (dotMom)

This was another life changing session from Debbie and Steve Wilson.  I think everyone in our group ended up doing this session. Not that any of our marriages are bad, but who doesn't want a little pick me up every now and then?  So sit back and enjoy the read.  Hopefully you'll get as much out of it as I did.

~ When you first get married you are all about each other....... and...... well then you have kids. 
     * The hardest time in a Moms life is when you have small kids..... IT. IS. EXHAUSTING!
     * With us being so exhausted, we are constantly pushing our husbands away.  Eventually he stops   trying to get close to us and so the war begins. 

~ There are 3 very important things to remember in a marriage:
(1) Communication is the key!!!!
     *  If communication is not right in our marriage, it causes all sorts of problems.  This area is SO VERY IMPORTANT!!
     * A woman only desires sex if she feels loved.
          (1) We need to know that you care about us ALL day and not just at bed time.  Check in with each other.  A sweet little text or phone call throughout the day adds up.
               - And ladies, if we are going to hand over a responsibility to our husbands, then we have to let him do it.  And not just do it, but do it HIS way.  Steve used an example that he decided to help take a load off Debbie so he told her that he would do bath time for her.  He purposely made it last an hour to give Debbie more "her time".  He said the floor was completely soaked, but they had a good time. 
          (2) We have more than a body.  We have a brain.  We need non-sexual affection.  We will want you when you emotionally love us and not just physically love us.
               - Sex is physical for a man, but emotional for a woman. 

Ladies, your husband wants YOU!!!!   Of all the women in the World, HE CHOSE YOU!!

(2) Look past the behavior to the pain that caused the behavior.
     * We address the behavior, not what caused the behavior.
     * When your husband comes home from a job he hates and you ask him how his day was and he says, "Not good".... and then you immediately say, "Well..... you think your day wasn't good..... let me tell you about my day".  Your husband hears, "I don't care about your day".  Why not say, "Honey let's pray about a new job"?
               - Debbie gave an example (that doesn't pertain to marriage but is a great example that goes along with this) at how her daughter came home after school and slammed the door as she entered.  Debbie said that is one thing that everyone at her house knows is a NO NO!!  So then her daughter went to her room and slammed her bedroom door.  Debbie was so mad.  She furiously went to her room and found her daughter sitting on her bed crying.  Instead of getting on to her she embraced her.  Her daughter told her that no one cared about her.  Her point was that she would have missed that opportunity with her daughter if she had of went in her room and yelled at her instead of listening to what she said. 

(3) Forgiveness (1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness)
     * Satan uses your past (memories) to get in the way of your marriage.
     * Real love is when you can stand before your spouse with the good, bad, the ugly, and they still love you.
     * DON'T BLAME YOUR TODAY ON YOUR YESTERDAY!!!
   

~ God designed marriage to be good, but he also designed it for the man and woman to work at it together.  He never said it would be easy.
~ Talk about sex.  Guys cannot read minds. 
~ You've got to COMMUNICATE!!!!!
~ Let him hold your heart.  He wants you to feel safe and you will with him holding it.

~ Let God use trials to bring you closer to Him!

Enjoy your husband, your marriage, your closeness.  Draw closer together everyday.