* He started off my saying
*The reason there are so many failed marriages and people aren't finding a healthy marriage and relationship is because Jesus flat out is not the focus. When you remove him, things slowly start to go wrong.
Colossians 3:18-21
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.
Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
He said there were 5 words of command in those verses.
(1) Submit (vs 18)
(2) Love (vs 19)
(3) Do not be harsh (vs 19)
(4) Obey (vs 20)
(5) Do not provoke (vs 21)
This made perfect since to me after really thinking about it.... God wants us to do what we naturally would not do.
- It is not natural for women to submit. We like to take control usually.
- It is not natural for men to love. They like to be tough... hard core. Men are naturally selfish.
- It is not natural for children to mind.
~He said Colossians is the "reader digest" version of Ephesians.
Verses 12-17 : Paul lays out a foundation of how a family should be.
(1) Put on love.
(2) Put on peace
(3) Put on thankfulness
(4) Put on the word of Christ
**WE ARE ALL MARRIED TO A SINNER. Amen? We are all sinners.... right? In a relationship we are going to be deeply wounded.
Colossians 3:13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.
** No one has done to us what our sin did to Jesus.
Then came the Yardsticks for love:
(1) Responsiveness to the one you love. You don't fall in love to a body, but a person. You grow in love.
(2) Feeling of reference
~ God gave this person TO ME!! Kyle was a gift to me. Your spouse was a gift to you. Maybe your gift came with flaws.... we all have them. Kyle's smacking on gum and his bushy beard drive me bonkers!! Whether he would ever admit it or not (haha), I know there are things about me that drive him loopy. BUT we have to work together to be more like Christ.
(3) True love is giving
~ Should be constantly giving love to our mate. Don't be selfish and keep all your emotions and feelings to yourself. In true love you think more about them than yourself.
(4) Willingness for responsibility of love.
~ Want to constantly show and give someone your love.
(5) Pains to be seperated
~ Should like to hang out with your husband or wife. You should provide companionship for one another. It hurts my heart so bad to be away from Kyle while he is at work. It is honestly a painful separation, BUT I hold together because I know that when he is home from work, he is home for those few weeks.
(6) Mutual joy to be around each other without physical encounter. We love to just hang out... laugh... carry on. Whether it is on a date, sitting on the steps outside, playing tag football, racing on our kids play toys or sitting in the school line. We enjoy being together.
(7) True love has a protective attitude.
~ Don't chip each other with smart sarcastic remarks. Especially don't light into each other in front of other people. Avoid it! Avoid it! Avoid it! From the beginning of our marriage, Kyle & I agreed to never had a "disagreement" in front of the children.
(8) Feeling of belonging
~ We want to know what they are doing & thinking because we care... not because we are wanting to keep constant stalkerish tabs on them.
(9) You understand each other very well.
~ COMMUNICATION has to be developed.
~ Communication is the most important thing in a relationship.
(10) Love matures.
~ Each day you grow in love together. BUT has to be Christ centered. I love Kyle so much more today than I did 14 years ago. I just turned 29... so basically been with that kid half my life. The type of father that he is makes my love grow stronger too.
LOVE NEVER ENDS!!!!
**We miss so many opportunities for our marriage because we are so focused on self.
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