Relationships

We had a Dr Charles Lowery come to Ino this past Sunday to do a study on relationships. He was incredible! He was so very very funny... and definitely kept your attention. I learned a lot from him in the 3 hours I got to listen to him.... yes 3... he actually taught 4 though. I had to keep nursery for one of the hours. He was worth every second!

**I'm going to try to hit the high notes that he hit without making this a boring post. He was too good for me to not talk about.

Sunday morning he talked about children and how we as parents "drag" the children along with us so that "we can spend time with them".... when in reality we are still doing what we want to do and we aren't spending "quality" time with our children. Dr Lowery made everyone in the congregation raise our hands.... after a while he told us we could put them down and asked us if they were hurting... of course most everyone's were hurting. He started laughing and said that's how your children feel most of the time from one parent having one hand and the other parent having the other hand.HAHA! You all know that describes me to a "T"! I try to take at least one child with me majority of the time.

He also talked about infidelity Sunday morning. He said he had men come to talk to him about how wonderful their secretary was. She was pretty, dressed well, payed him attention, etc. He said he told those men.... well pay your wife and let her get off at 5 and she'll do the same thing! Then he said women would come talk to him and they would say how they wished their husbands would listen to them like he was doing.... look at them in their eyes like he was, etc... and he joked and said Well pay them $150 an hour and he will! haha! The grass may seem greener on the other side.... but that may be because it's being watered. Water your own relationship and it'll be green too!

Why is it so difficult to get along with people?
(1) Selfish Nature- We want what we want when we want it.
(2) Family Differences- Everything is "good" while you are dating, then you get married and you realize that you didn't know this or that about the person.
(3) Personality Differences- there are thinkers and feelers in this world.
- He said incompatibility is why we are together... not why we get a divorce. We are attracted to people of opposite personalities. I thought how true this is. Kyle and I are complete opposites. We all always joke that Kyle and Amanda should be married and Jonathan and I should be married. Kyle and Amanda are soo much alike it's not even funny and then Jonathan and I are alike. But after listening to Dr Lowery.... I thought... how blan life would be if we were all married to someone JUST LIKE US?

*How to be a Lover:

Laugh- Most of us are so caught up in "life" that we have lost our joy.
~ When's the last time that you actually just really had A GOOD TIME?? Just a fun filled time?
~ What do you remember about growing up? Do you have good memories? What kind of memories do you want your children to have?

Overlook- In order to enjoy life we have to overlook a lot of things.
~ We get so caught up on what other people "do to us" that we want to get even with them or get back at them.
~ Most people fight over things that really do not matter. Ever been in an argument with your spouse and at the end wonder what started it?
~ He said there are two main reasons why your teenage son would grow up to hate you:
(1) You're always working
(2) You're always right


Value- How do you value people?

Encouragement- Good CAN flow FROM YOU... it doesn't have to always flow TO you. Often we sit around waiting for something good to come to us, when we need to be the one encouraging others.
~ Do not focus on people's faults.

Realize- Realize who has the power.
~ There is a greater power that will bless you
~ If someone followed you for a week would they say you blessed people or blast people?

**** That is just a smidgen of what I learned. You really should look him up.... maybe there is a video on YouTube? He is so funny!! He has a way of opening your eyes and seeing things the way you should see them.

Kyle and I honestly have a wonderful relationship. Sometimes it is hard because we do have 3 small kids that are needy. Karter and Sophie are still "babies" and are much more needier than Heidi is. That takes a lot of our focus off each other. There have been times at the end of each day that we just look at each other and say..... gosh I feel like I haven't seen or spoken to you today. We have created this little family of ours... and I hope that when my children are one day asked..... What do you remember about your childhood? That it is all good things :)!

**** Also.... if your children are asked who the most Godly person they know is and the answer is not you.... there's a problem!