We had our 3rd session Sunday night with Kevin Lehman's studies and it was a good one.
Although I am not a Dad, I do have a Dad and my husband is a Dad so I was sure to pay attention.
*A father's influence leaves a huge imprint on their children's lives. He made an EXCELLENT point that kind of makes you go.... "aaahhhh"... he said your Dad should be a mirrored image of what God would be like. When you look at your Father, you should see God. I thought that was a very good nugget for you Dads out there :)!!
* A good Dad is there for their kids and their bride.
When there is an engaged Dad: There are fewer behavioral problems & fewer drug problems.
*Dad's can change their relationships with their bride, kids, employees, etc. by:
~ Speaking kindly and respectfully.
~ Being a leader and KNOW WHO YOU ARE LEADING. Each child, person, WOMAN, is different.
MOMS VS DADS
~ Dads tell you once, Moms tell you several times.
~ Dads use lower voices than Moms.
* Dads need to listen. Moms do listen. AMEN!
~ Dads role is unique and complimentary to Mom.
*****Don't be a know it all Dad. I thought this was pretty straight on. I tell Kyle all the time that I'm usually wrong with what ever I say or offer to he and my Dad. It's usually, "no..... I'm pretty sure it is this or that".... so a lot of times I just keep stuff to myself because I know it's not going to be "right" anyway :)! And I'm not talking major things in my case... just small things.
***** You're not a perfect Dad, but need to be a good Dad.
***** Use yes sometimes. Don't always say "NO" to your kids.
- Do your kids see joy in your life?
They better
- Do you bless your kids?
Compliment them
- How do you treat their mother? With respect?
Trust me.... kids notice. My Dad has always treated my Mom with respect. He never says anything bad about her.
- A Mom LOVES to watch a Dad interact with kids. AMEN Moms? This past time Kyle was home I got to missing him. I don't remember what I was needing, but when I walked in the living room, I saw he and Kman out front playing baseball. I honestly stood there and had a deep breath, big smile on my face moment.
~ RESPOND RATHER THAN REACT DADS!!!
EX: He said he has a daughter that it in an art institute. She came home once with a blue streak in her hair. He said he had left she and her boyfriend two tickets to a game and parking tickets and texted her and told her that the parking tickets were for the blue haired people only. So he choose to respond rather than react. He said he could care less if she had a blue streak in her hair. It was who she was.
* This made me laugh. I call my hair "dish water blonde" or "dirty blonde" and have never been a huge fan of the natural dark blonde that I am. So I highlight it. It drives my Dad bonkers LOL! He wants me natural :)!! Which I can understand that now as a parent. I have even tried to go darker just for him and never have liked it. The last time I did it, Kyle asked me if I was doing it for me or my Dad. haha!
EX: You want to respond to medication right? Having a reaction to a medication is not a good thing.
~ Dad, it's who you are that sets the whole tone for your family. Kids tend to rebel when you say one thing and do another.
~ Don't win all the time. Everybody needs to feel like a winner sometimes. Your kids are always watching!!!!
~ When tragedy strikes, how do your kids react? Or do they respond? They model this from you.. Dad.
EX: He talked about his daughter's dog. His youngest daughter got a little (crazy/wild) dog for she and her husbands small Chicago apartment. He said tragedy struck when the dog went up 4 flights of stairs (I forget the actual level in the building they were on,and the dog went up 4 more stories) and jumped off the balcony to her death. His daughter was devastated. He was devastated for her. It struck their entire family so much that his wife canceled a meeting to fly to Chicago to be with their daughter. You want to be compassionate Dad.
****Dads you should want your daughter(s) to say..... I want to marry somebody just like you Dad.
YOU NEVER STOP BEING A DAD!
* This story was sad.... I was wiping the tears from my eyes as he was talking about it. His daughter and her husband had lost a baby. He and his wife went to be with them all day at the hospital. That night he had a meeting with publishers for a book. He said they couldn't cancel the meeting, but his mind was definitely not focused on the dinner meeting. When they were finished and walked out side, his son in law and daughter were pulled up to the front and his son in law said, "She had to see you (Mr. Lehman) one more time". He said they stood there and just embraced. Didn't move. Held each other so tightly. But before she went home, she had to see her Dad again. His point was no matter how old you get or your children, you will ALWAYS be a Dad. Always!
* Send flowers to your daughter. Taking time out of your busy schedule to send an, "I Love you text", or email... just acknowledging her does wonders. Your wife will be so thankful she married you when she finds out that you sent your daughter flowers... whether she is 10 or 30.
* Don't always point out all the negatives. Reward the positive.
* Dads, don't be afraid to hug your child and tell them you love them. They need to hear and see (feel) that.
*REMEMBER: Dads represent God to your kids.
~~~~ So although I am not a Dad, I am a wife and a daughter. I enjoyed this session just as much as the others :)!
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