I feel like I should talk about the marriage session since the Mom one went over so well.
Once again these sessions are from my Discipleship Training class and they come from Kevin Leman's "Have a New Family by Friday". He has several books out as well.
Matthew 6:33 - But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
Success Factors in a Marriage:
(1) Communication
* Women: want you to know how they're feeling without them telling you.
- Could that statement not be any truer? Kyle can ask me what's wrong, and of course I say, "Nothing...." in my quick pouty voice. Knowing good and well something has ruffled my feathers. Or if whatever is wrong doesn't involve him, I quickly tell him. As I am sitting here typing this and thinking about it, us women really are complicating creatures.
* Men: They are simple. Do not as your husbands questions. The "Why" question specifically. Instead of asking why, intrigue them with conversation.... for example... Hunting season drives me BONKERS! I do not get it, I never will get it. To me it is a waste of time and money. Then again, I am not one that can sit still. Even at home. Blogging takes me a while because I have to get up to do stuff in between paragraphs haha. But.... like if he misses a deer or something, instead of saying, "Why?? What happened"... say, "Awww I am sorry Babe... maybe I can sit with you while you adjust your scope" or something to that nature.
(2) Transparency & Authentication
* Have to have the same core values.
* Agreement on things such as the church you attend, the way to discipline your children, etc.
(3) Active & Rewarding Sex Life
* Men can be turned on in a split second. Women on the other hand want a nice romantic evening, candle lights, fire, wonderful dinner, all the "happy" things that can lead her up to being in the mood. He was saying how important this step is in a marriage.
~ 60% of People that get marriage between the ages of 20-25 end in divorce.
~ The average marriage life is 7 years. Thankfully we have surpassed 7 years. This year will be 10 years. We did get marriage early. I was 19 and he was 20. We are determined to be that 40% :)!
**Men have no friends**
- They want to be best friends with us ladies. This was funny to me, because it is true. Now men have associations with guys. But he was funny in saying how men can be together.... all afternoon... grilling, watching football, etc. The women are inside.... the woman will know everything going on with everybody by the time they leave. The man will know absolutely nothing about the other men when they leave. FOR RIZZLE!! RIGHT?? The guys will talk about the football play, the player, the coaches..... us women are talking about the rough night with the children, what we are getting such and such for Christmas, what all we want done to the house, etc.
**Husbands listen to your wives. She needs words and does not need you to tell her what to do. When she is down and out, simply ask.... "What can I do to help honey?".
YOU EITHER MAKE DEPOSITS OR WITHDRAWALS IN THE LOVE BANK!!!
If we all realized how true that statement is, wouldn't it make a world of difference? Everything we say and do is either adding to our marriage or taking away from it. We want to draw closer to our husbands, not farther away.
**Ladies we have to put our husbands first** (After God that is)
Eph 5:22 Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.
Which leads to......
Eph 5:21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
--That man that burps, sits in boxer shorts in the recliner with a pizza in 1 hand & remote in the other will take a bullet for you.
--- He wants to be our HERO. An "at a boy" every once in a while. He is not our "girlfriend". He is our husband.
ONLY 1 IN 1,052 COUPLES THAT PRAY TOGETHER GET A DIVORCE.
**You cannot get away from who you are and how you grew up. Do not use that in your marriage. Do not dwell on it. Make a new life. Make a happy life.
** The #1 fear in children today...... THEIR PARENTS GETTING A DIVORCE.
- It hit me the other day that I was the age Heidi is now when my parents got a divorce. I remember that day so vividly when my Dad told me. We would always lay on this big blue pillow (that he and Yana still have) and watch T.V... our favorite show was "Are You Afraid of the Dark?" on Nickelodeon. And he came and lay down beside me and told me. The toughest question I was ever faced with was, "Who do you want to live with"? And I can't help but picture Heidi and if I were faced with having to ask her that question. It really isn't good on either party... the child or the parents. I know as a child I was torn. I still feel my heart pitter pattering real fast thinking back. Goes back to yesterdays post about children wanting to please their parents. I didn't want to let either parent down by my response. Thankfully not long in to my mom and dads divorce they figured a system out where we spent the same amount of time with each of them. Tyler was only a baby, so it is the only life he has ever known. I am thankful for my step mom though.... she is pretty awesome :).
And then there are Midlife Marriages:
* 30% of marriages end after their children are grown. I can think of several that this holds true to.
* To prevent that from happening, if you see you are headed "there", spruce it up... take a course on marriage together. Revitalize your sex life. Go on an over night trip.
So gonna end it with some important pointers:
* Ladies we got to let our husbands win sometimes.
*Be an: encourager, listener, & pray together.
*Honor Christ by submitting yourselves... Eph 5:21
EVERYTHING WORKS BETTER WHEN A MARRIAGE IS WORKING!!!
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