Wow! It has been a year to this day that I shared with all of you my most private secret. I am still so shocked that I was able to share it with all the pride I felt for so long. God is good :)!
So much has changed for me in a year.
I have become thankful for my trial. Thankful for the people that it reached. Thankful for God bringing me through that trial to get to where I am today. Thankful that my family & close friends didn't give up on my bad attitude self. I am a better person. Better mom. I am 100% medicine free. YAY!!! (And it is A-OKAY if you aren't.... I just was bound and determined to get off mine).
I was studying our Sunday School book last week and at one point it talked about self inflicting pain and how it made you feel. It was like it was directed right at me. One thing I left off with My original story was how every day I would take a paper clip and unfold it. I then would take the end and dig behind my already bare nails. My nails were so short and torn (I peeled them to the quick daily) and I made sure to make them bleed. It was almost like I would try to inflict physical pain to try to escape the emotional pain.
That was a HUGE sign of me starting to "get better" when my nails were growing. I would look at them and smile everyday.
Am I perfect? Absolutely NOT! No where close! I still have good and bad days. But who doesn't? God chose me to go through what I did and to SAVE ME from it so that I could share with everyone else. I felt so alone when I was in that state of mind. Like no one knew how I felt or cared. But that's not true. I think that's why He kept telling me over and over and over that I HAD to share it with "The World". I finally obeyed :)!
I shared it Sept 2, 2012. I gave my first "public" testimony Sept 30th at church and have had NUMEROUS people contact me about it. By April 2013 I was 100% off my medicine. "AINT GOD GOOD"!! So not proper English, but that's how I feel.
Anyway..... gonna leave you with a link to that post in case you missed it.
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