Heaven Has Welcomed A Fabulous Person!

Most of you know my good friend Danielle passed away suddenly Wednesday morning.  It has shaken me up pretty good.  So this post is all about her.  I cannot help but keep singing "The Anchor Holds" over and over and over in my head.  It was a song that Gregg & Meredith held on to tightly after the twins passed and ever since I have cherished it more than ever.  It has had a whole new meaning to me ever since. 

As I right this post and listen to this song, I feel out of breath and a tightening in my chest.  This is so unbelievably hard.  Life is soooooo fragile!!  Don't sweat the small things.  Live today like you will never see tomorrow.

Yell,

I kind of feel like I am signing your Yearbook of life or something.  The thought of you not physically being here is still so incomprehensible.  I talked to you a week ago today.  I will never forget it.  I was sitting by Dad & Yana's pool making out a grocery list and needed to know about Steamboat chicken salad.  Of course you reminded me that you could deliver.  haha!  I was looking forward to that too.  I had seen you the weekend before at Madelyn's birthday party.  I was so unbelievably rushed to get to the next one that I only got to speak to you for a second.  We even talked the next day and I apologized for being so rushed and not being able to hang around.  Do you know how badly I regret that?  I love Frazier with all my heart, but if I had of known I would  never get to see you again, I would have stayed and talked to you until they just ran us off.  Just like old times.

We were inseparable in high school.  Every memory I have with you is so vivid and strong.  You have always made me laugh and smile.  You have always made a gloomy day brighter.  I can remember staying with you too many times to count.  Your favorite color was lime green.  Of course that was one of the colors on your beautiful flower arrangements.  You even painted your bedroom/bathroom lime green at your Dads house.  

I went on my first Spring Break ever with you.  We had so much fun.  Everytime I pass the hotel I think about you and how much fun we all had.  I have looked and looked for our pictures, but I haven't been able to find them yet.  

I remember Katelyn being born like it was yesterday.  That head full of dark dark hair.  Absolutely stunning!!!  I have so many pictures of me holding her :)!!  I guess they are with all of my other pictures.  She even came with you to my graduation party.  Meant so much to me.  And now she is starting Middle School.  How is that even possible?  I can hardly believe she is 10!! Danielle, 10!!!  I know she is going to be very well taken care of.  Just doesn't seem right for you not to be here to embrace these next few years with her, or to take her to school that first day with this new chapter.  Shaun is going to do a great job though :)!! He is a wonderful Dad.  And Miley.... wow.... starting kindergarten.  You didn't even get a chance to find out who her teacher is going to be.  I know how badly you wanted and hoped and waited for your next opportunity to teach and walk the floors of OES.  Especially to be there and watch Miley go through her years there.  I remember when you found out you weren't going to be hired the next year.  It was devastating.  I remember walking to Amanda's room many times and peaking through the tiny window on the door to watch you teach.  Such a fabulous teacher!

You have taught me so much in your short 29 years.  Taught me how to love, live, laugh.  My heart still so badly aches that you are not here.  I know we weren't as close as we used to be, but we both knew each other was only a phone call or text away.  I am so thankful for Memories.  Memories last a life time.  Wednesday morning before you passed you played me and Kyle in Words with Friends.  Our game had actually ended and you sent me a new request.  I took a snap shot to always remember it by.  Kyle got his request at 7:00 A.M. and you passed between 7:30 & 9:00.  Kyle would get so frustrated with you when y'all played.  You would always play those big scoring words on him and he would sit on the couch and just yell.  It was so funny.  I always knew it was you he was playing.  He liked playing you because you would play him back pretty much right away.  Now he is stuck playing me and Dad LOL!

Wednesday morning I had a doctors appointment and after the appointment I went to moms to get the children.  I will never forget the dreadful phone call I received from Kayla.  When she told me, I immediately told her NO that it was not true.  Couldn't be true.  So I called your sister in law, Tamara.  I am thankful she didn't answer because I don't know what I would have done.  But Beth called me back from Tamara's phone and told me what I had been told was true.  I could not contain my composure.  Mom and I both burst into tears.  Poor Heidi, she said several times that she thought she was going to throw up.  

When the twins died, I cannot even begin to explain the hurt I felt for one of my best friends and her husband.  It took me a long, LONG time to heel from that.  And to this day, not a day goes by that I do not think of them.  I had to deal with Meredith losing not one, but two of her precious babies after getting to spend two years with them.  And now you are my first friend to go on to Glory.  I never expected to experience this so soon.  I have walked around for days not sure how to act or what to do.  I know you would want everyone to be happy, but I will be honest.... that was just hard to do.  Especially with it being the 4th of July week.  How was I supposed to celebrate ANYTHING with your death?  I didn't even wear red, white, or blue on Thursday.  I was really thankful for the dreary and gloomy weather the past several days.  That helped. It described the mood I felt and I know your family felt.  I just can't believe that you are gone.  Like really gone.

Heaven definitely welcomed a super fabulous person.  Which God knew that before He chose you to go.  I joked on Facebook about how I knew you were probably the loudest Angel there was because your nickname wasn't "Yell" for nothing.  I don't know that I will ever comprehend what has happened.  I do know July 3rd, 2013 is a day that I will never forget. 

I love you and cherish everything we have experienced together.... forever!  When we were asked 10 years ago where we would see ourselves in 10 years.... never ever ever ever ever never would I say going to your funeral. Ever!!!!  

I will most definitely see you again one day!!! You will have to show me around :)!!! Thank you for always being a wonderful friend and person.  This was just our Earthly goodbye, but we will get to laugh again one day.  

Miss you!!!
---Toyia

You know, when I was little I don't remember my parents going to funerals or funeral homes.  But poor Heidi knows too much about them.  She was only 3 when the twins passed away, but she still remembers Brayden & Kenadi and we will still talk about them.  And then one of our other friends lost their son that was Karter's age & his brother was actually in Heidi's class.  And the beginning of this year, another childhood family friend lost his young thirty-two or thirty-three year life to a heart attack, and now Danielle.  I hope you all are as ready as I am to see all of them again one day.  I'm gonna hit the cloud running :-)!!